… you don’t look like a Franklin

Somebody told me this yet again today

Previously, in a past life (or rather, a year or so ago) I was totally aboard the “anti-microaggression” bandwagon. Questions such as, “Where are you from? Where are you really from?” used to bother me, and I see a lot of videos on this topic and how it is harmful. However, when people ask me this question I don’t really feel disenfranchised or particularly sour.

For me, when people ask where I am originally from, or tell me I do not look like a Franklin, it is a chance for me to own who I am.

Even Asian people tell me I look foreign, even those who are clearly more “foreign” than I am. It doesn’t bother me though, I wouldn’t expect others to be able to assume where I am from and to be right. Heck, I don’t even really know.

Today, when someone said I don’t look like a Franklin, I didn’t hold it against them. To do so, in my opinion, would be hypocritical. I want to teach people, and I want to spread love, so how would it be appropriate for me to try to denigrate that person? Instead, I calmly and openly explained that I was adopted and that I was raised on brats and kraut, not bulgogi and kimchi.

I can definitely see where these “microaggressions” can be annoying or offensive, but I see no reason to get bent out of shape about it. If anything, I have had the opportunity to explain adoption and the concept that the rest of the world isn’t “white-america” in person to many people, which (again, in my eyes) is more effective than ranting about how ignorant white people are, just waiting for all the status likes so I can validate how much that ignorant person offended me with their somewhat offensive methods of inquiry.

I don’t know how everyone else feels, but I personally am choosing to not let these little things get to me and to speak up honestly when I can, to share my story. That being said, we each have our own history and I do not mean to invalidate how others may be affected.

Life is bittersweet: why be bitter to these people based on our first chance to meet, instead of being sweet?